Maybe it was amojo?

Amojo: having no mojo; a distinct lack of "mojo"; an inability to become enthusiastic; a sudden and palpable loss of enthusiasm for a former passion.

Do you think that this might be next year's new inclusion in the Oxford dictionary?

I would vote for it, or perhaps it could be included under depressive disorders in the DSMIV?

Anyhoo! My mojo disappeared early this year, originally manifested by acute symptoms- malaise, lethargy, reduced level of sewing interest. I was hopeful that the trip to see the Quilts in the Barn exhibition by Margaret Sampson-George and her students would be the tonic I needed and my mojo would return. Yes, I was in awe of the quilts displayed, managed to find some stunning fabrics in Melbourne, ever hopeful that I would get home and be ON FIRE!!!!! 

I did some cross stitch...

And played with Smitten.

But it didn't happen, I even was blah about reading blogs. OMG, the three month mark passed and my amojia was now chronic! Vainly I tried to fight it, flicking through magazines and purchasing snippets of fabric....still nothing! A workshop with MSG failed to produce any mojo....still I floundered with a heavy dose of the blahs, no enthusiasm for anything.

Every now and then I would get a flicker of something, but generally it passed before I could fan the tiny flame, and...poof!...it had gone again! I even wondered if dear Granny a Loz had packed it in her bag and left it somewhere in the Scottish highlands. We were even contemplating taking a little trip to look for it....that would have been fun!

Maybe the monsters took it during the night?

I don't really know why my mojo went away, I think it was a culmination of things. Whilst our move was two years ago, it has been both easy and hard to settle- finding work that wasn't on a three monthly contract basis, finding like minded souls and actually feeling like we belong. There has been a sense of loss too, missing old friends and also the loss that some friendships were not as strong as I thought, some of these things really hurt. And these hurts have taken time to heal. And then we lost our beloved Molly.

But there were happy things that took a lot of energy too, like seeing our daughter marry and the opportunity to be a daily support for my ageing mother. Work is now settled but remains full time and is quite draining at times, but I work with an amazing team so I do feel blessed. But this leaves little time to create. And I do miss it. I really was wondering if it would ever come back....seriously!

Fast forward to yesterday, which quite prophetically was the 4th of July, Independence Day, well in the U.S., but my deluded brain is happy to think it was special for me too (cue DSMIV again!). 

I digress.

Yesterday I think that mojo found me again. In a technique workshop with Wendy Williams, where I found a happy place amongst the colourful wool felts, perle threads and embroidery stitches which I love. Wendy was inspirational letting my head wander into her woolly world, encouraging me to take some elements of her design and make something for me. I think wise Janette summed it up by saying that I had had no room in my head of late. Smart girl.

So last night I stitched and played with my felts, and now I have five tiny houses that I am loving...there is a plan which I am keen to pursue. Fun.

Fingers crossed I can nurture my delicate little mojo....and feed it so that I can watch it grow within me again. I will feel like reading blogs, planning projects in my head and then actually sewing them! I don't think it is going to be easy, but Saturday gave me the impetus to get going again...here's hoping!

Cardygirl xx